Dear Jean Makers

Dear Jean Makers,

I went shopping for a pair of new blue jeans. However I didn't buy a new pair of jeans. Why, because I am not a hard body 16 year old anymore. There are some importants facts for you to know oh gods of jean design:

1. I don't have a waist anymore and I am not sure where I lost it, some where between birthing two kids and homemade bread is my guess. You on the other hand no longer make waist high pants anyway.

2. I don't want to show my tummy, my belly button or my butt crack! My tummy looks like the Pillsbury bread dough boy, my belly button is not cute or cuddly, and the butt crack look works for plumbers not for me.

3. Those slim your tummy low waisted jeans only push the tummy fat up to where my waist should be, creating the giant muffin look, sexy looking, NOT! Really looks great with those short show your tummy shirts everyone insist on making again NOT!

4. Those jean pants with the stretch elastic might work if I was 100 years old, (I doubt it) Why would you think if we don't want to look like we are 16 years old  we want to look...matronly. (Only word I can think of to describe those kind of pants)

5. My legs are not 6 feet long! How come women can't buy jeans that are measured in pant length like the guys?  (Oh yeah they make women's Carharts like that but Carharts also think we want the butt crack look.)

6. Wearing a belt isn't a solution when the waist band  sits under your stomach, in fact it is downright painful. 

So my choices are let it all hang out or wear really ugly matronly pants.

Right now I am not taking either choice. I am lucky that boys Levi husky fit the leg length issue but they too have  the waist issue.So I deal with the muffin top look, unhappily whether they are made for male or female.

(An aside note: How come men don't seem to notice a breeze on their butt crack?)

 Dear Jean designers and makers...please make some jeans that reach the waist and don't have gigantic flapping roomy, too long legs. If you want to put a little slimming panel in the waist high jeans feel free..at least all of me will be covered all the way to the waist, squashing all around equally is better than the giant muffin top look.


P.S. Shirt makers if you are reading this...start making some great looking shirts that go past my waist to my hips.

Thank you

P.S.S. Designers:  I would be glad to draw you a picture if you can't figure it out.